Live Deliberately

by The Mighty Mighty Chitons

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about

this is an album long in making. some of the songs go back to when i first moved to olympia four years ago and some i put together last fall. about half of them are leftovers from when i was in a band called trout stream that fell apart. i couldn't leave these songs behind so here they are.

recorded in my bedroom at my parent's house winter of 2017 with my laptop and a microphone.

these songs represent a pretty fucking insane time of my life and if i'm lucky i'll never try and make music like this again.

please enjoy.

hold tight.

credits

released March 20, 2017

Garrett 'Dirt' Bekemeyer - words, voice, bass, guitar, keyboard, percussion

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The Mighty Mighty Chitons Deer Park, Washington

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Track Name: The Cup of My Fury
it's time for me to leave
you've taken so much from me
i got strong on my own
throw out what you know

flight/fight
Track Name: Who are you Going to Be
bridges burn down behind me, i never even lit the match
never actually thought to look back
but i smell the smoke
and i feel the heat
now i know i must be moving on

i am fire
i am all history
i don’t know that much about memories
but that’s me

who are you going to be
so many paths laid out in front of me
the wrong one is the one i take, the right one i regret and hate

no i am fine
i just need to go outside

everything’s changed since i went away
maybe i’m the one who’s insane
all the little details along the way home

bridges burn down behind me, i never even lit the match
never actually thought to look back
but i smell the smoke
and i feel the heat
now i know i must be moving on

i am fire
Track Name: Nothing New Happens When you Die
i cut myself on a serpent's tooth
now my tongue bleeds the whole truth
i saw the spark fade in your eye
i feel the guilt lodged deep in your spine
we were there the day that man jumped
under the bridge while they went on the hunt
logan told me everything will be fine
nothing new happens when you die
god ain’t real nor hell nor i
god ain’t real nor heaven nor i
phonebooks on the beach were spread like leaves
my notes were scattered yours stacked neat
now it’s time for me to come clean
nothing that happened means a damned thing
we’re traveling beasts driven to move
now i know that no one won
everything is truth we just don’t believe
the earth is still so flat to me
god ain’t real nor hell nor i
god ain’t real nor heaven nor i
when tahoma calls we’re gone for good
buried deep beneath the great flood
ravens circle above coyotes dance
all humans have is our chance
at the end we’re bound to the sea
salt rings drying on the roots of a tree
yeah it’s true everything will be fine
nothing new happens when you die
Track Name: The Fool Always Follows the Sun
dirty job, first aid, band-aid, whatever

time drips down into my seems, not sayin much you know what i mean
i cut the ring off in Portland there, my eyes are tired beyond repair

can’t do much but talk soda pop, what do you do when it gets hot
the summer passed and it got cool, you’re the sun and i the fool

waitin around for you to shut up, cut on your mouth your words get stuck
i just want to write this book, my ways the tree my will the root

you can pretend you care, my eyes are tired beyond repair
in the kitchen it all made sense, who to in hell do i pay rent

pulling myself out of this web, my thoughts get eaten in my head
i cut the ring off in Portland there, you’re the lead weight i’m the fresh air

not letting on all that i know, the cricket in wall harps on solo
we were making eyes shooting pool, you’re the sun and i the fool
Track Name: In Memory of Dakota the Cat
i found the sawblade where the wigwam burner once stood
has it been there since long before, i do not know i let it go
hop upon the rocks, shells crunchin underneath, sayin sorry to myself with every step i take, one day the white powder will turn to sand and float away


don’t forget about me i’ll come back for you someday
the wigwam burner and the pond ain’t too far away
Track Name: Tower of Babel
the devil built the tower of babel so i could talk shit

the time has come for me to find my way
they always point you to the door but you never hear them say
the world out there is kind to you, you can carry all that weight
no they throw you out and forget about
what precaution can you take

fill your mouth up with concrete
shove flowers into the wound

so the story goes, the dirt belongs to me
but dirt has claim on our bones, and dirt returns to sea
and mountains form from waves so mighty and so true
they are the strength of me built from faults of you

i was told to be afraid of things that i can’t see
now i feel those things coming after me
hold tight and let them in
those demons cannot win
when they see the shit inside they’ll turn away and hide
Track Name: Satellite
make a wish on a satellite, nothing will change either way
i tell myself that’s what i want, really i’m afraid
lies drip out from orc stained teeth, leave me alone
cracked mirror half-hearted chock full of splinters
throw out what you know

make a wish on a satellite, the hard parts remain the same
if i could remember the order of anything i’d put on the wall in a frame
lies drip out rom orc stained teeth, leave me alone
cracked mirror half-hearted chock full of splinters
throw out what you know
the path gets the shorter the longer you go
Track Name: Satan as a Cormorant Sits in the Tree of Life
i could no longer play
i could not play by instinct
i am numb to nothing

satan as a cormorant sits in the tree of life with me the snake hanging dead in his beak hidden among the pear blossoms of spring

i took a chance to get here quick lies sliding off my tongue picked up flat where the land meets the sea
human beings are fickle things i’ve never been one to trust
step on the cracks jump on lines
it’s all just stompin on spines


bite through our tails until bodies are gone heads so far up our asses they’re poking out from where they’re from

everything comes around
Track Name: St. Paul
i haven’t been outside in days
boredom comes to me in spades

st. paul doesn’t do much but save his own ass
it was already way too late

you collect guilt like a landmine
sardines no you can’t find
can you see outside your blackhole
bagged eyes on the tip of the spear
don’t you forget
don’t you forget
don’t you dare forget

nothing came to me
nothing came to you
nothing came or went that is surely true
the mail man
the garbage man
i asked where does it go
they say leave it to st. paul

you collect guilt like a landmine
sardines no you can’t find
can you see outside your blackhole
bagged eyes on the tip of the spear
don’t you forget
don’t you forget
don’t you dare forget
Track Name: Cross-eyed
how do you feel about east

i can’t open my eyes
i can’t close my eyes
i can’t cross my eyes without thinkin

can’t hold hands
can’t shake hands
can’t cut hands without over thinkin

can’t open my mouth
can’t close my mouth
can’t bite my tongue without thinkin

can’t open my eyes
can’t close my eyes
without
over thinkin

there’s no one here to save you
Track Name: Oh it Takes Being Held
dandelions come early for bees
death counts out ribs slowly

old friends come back to me
into my arms lift you up so warmly

dead memories come back to me
fill up my head with that faded line

old notebooks thrown around my room
spilling out things i never got to say

warn photographs stuck to my wall
i see your smiles i miss them all

looking to the future oh what do we miss
when i said goodbye i did it with a kiss
maybe that’s the way it needs to be
i will always hold these things inside of me
Track Name: Roads Paved in Bone
so wealthy me so
wealthy me so wealthy
me so wealthy me
so wealthy me so

took a long walk up to mad on the way had a little trip hit my head broke my key woke up and the path was lost to me tried to get hot to cool myself down you can see the stars out on the mounds what happens when you open up now it’s your insides that get cut

look see
well see
this shit just ain’t up to me

help me
see me
the world is an endless bead

i lost my camera at the beach buried in sand transferred light bleeds that sunset caught in the dead machines eye one door opens and another gets by took a chance to loosen my leash bone revealed on the neck of the beast what happens when you open up now it’s your insides that get cut
well now
say how
black hole between two lungs

hey wow
what now
knots of string between ears

creeds spoke over ghost phone lines god swore he got it right this time late night late night warm fog glow how deep can this all really go
Track Name: The Sea Around Us
tea for whiskey in old movies
little secrets behind the scenes
what you see could be anything
does the sea really surround me

pretty is pretty makes sense to me
bright green memories tall as evergreens
i miss the sound and so many things
nostalgia is a useless feeling but it still has a place to be

i say goodbye to old haunts
i say hello to new ghosts
you can’t choose what follows you
when you leave the great coast
cut between sharp mountains born from the sea
i’ve come too far to be afraid of anything
what we say can’t always match what we do
regrets pile on our guilt grows in full bloom

take what you want from me
whatever you need from me

make use of change when you can
shave your head when you are young
laugh with your friends so boldly
go to bed with the rising sun
cut between sharp mountains born from the sea
i’ve come too far to be afraid of anything
what we say can’t always match what we do
regrets pile on our guilt grows in full bloom

take what you want from me
whatever you need from me

goodbye friends i don’t want this to be a sad song

fight/flight